Tag Archives: Date a girl who dances salsa

Mr. Nice Guy Versus Mr. Too Cocky For You

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Mr. Nice Guy

Last Tuesday, at a salsa social in Bellini, I was sitting in my usual corner, having a cigarette break, when this familiar-looking guy, took the empty seat next to mine.

I have seen him at salsa parties on many occasions and yet I never danced with him. He never asked me to dance either. I remember him because he is one of those few guys that I always see at salsa socials, but never on the dance floor.

Between puffs of cigarette, he managed to catch my eye and pull a little smile. I smiled back. In my head, I was counting how many seconds it will take for him to say something.

One. Two. Three–

“Hi, how are you?” He asked after the fourth second.

“I’m good, thanks.” I said. “I think we’ve met before, but I’m sorry I can’t remember your name.”

“It’s Mr. Nice Guy.” He said, as he reached his hand out.

I immediately put my cigarette on the ashtray even though I was only halfway through.

“Jennifer.” I said, taking his hand, and making a mental note of how his hand feels warm and comfortable against mine.

“Would you like to dance?” He said in a nervous tone as though he was already sure I was going to say no. “I’ve only started taking classes, but I will really appreciate it if I can try what I learned with you.”

My heart melted with his honesty.

“Of course.” I said without hesitation.

He pulled me to the dance floor the moment Como Tiemba El Alma started playing in the background. It was a good start, and a good finish, and just like most of the beautiful dances, it was beautiful and unexpected.

Mr. Too Cocky For You 

Last Tuesday, at a salsa social in Bellini, I was sitting in my usual corner, having a cigarette break, when this familiar-looking guy, took the empty seat next to mine.

I have seen him at salsa parties on many occasions and yet I never danced with him. He never asked me to dance either. I remember him because he is one of those few guys that I always see at salsa socials, but never on the dance floor.

From my peripheral view, I noticed that he looked away from the dance floor to look at my direction.

“How are you?” He said in a very casual tone.

“Good, thanks.” I said. “I think we’ve met before, but I’m sorry I can’t remember your name.” I said feeling embarrassed.

“I can’t remember your name either.” He said in a very condescending tone. It was the kind of tone that was screaming are you kidding me? You don’t know who I am?

“It’s Jennifer,” I said reaching my hand to his direction.

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot that for a second. My name’s Mr. Too Cocky For You.”

Of course you ‘forgot that for a second’ because there is heaps of asian Jennifers who dance salsa in Cairo.

I immediately lit a second cigarette and rolled my eye.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” He asked. “You don’t look ok.”

Well who are you to decide whether or not I look ok? For one, you are crossing the borders of my space.

“I’m alright, thanks.” I managed to say instead.

“Are you sure?” He asked, raising an eyebrow that probably meant he was so sure that I wasn’t sure I’m ok.

I think I would be ok if only you can stop talking in your fake british accent for Christ’s sake! And that’s a big statement coming from me considering I don’t even believe in Christ!

“I think I would know if I’m not ok, thanks.” I said as politely as I could.

“What is the problem?” He probed.

That was just the nudge I needed.

“You want to know what’s the problem? You’re strange. And you’re so in my face.”

“In your face? I’m not too close, I don’t think.” He said defensively.

His arrogance only proved his ignorance.

“I didn’t mean it literally.”

“So, what do you mean then?”

“You suck at small talk. Usually, what happens is that you ask how I am and I say I’m alright. And I ask how you are and you say you’re fine. And that’s the end of the story. I keep my mouth shut, and you keep your mouth shut. Or you get up from your seat and move on to some place else where you can stick your nose in someone else’s business. You asked me if I was ok three times, and I gave you the same answer three times. Which is more than necessary. Usually, after I lit up another cigarette, you will take that as a hint that no, I don’t want to talk to you. And yes, my cigarette is a much better company. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna go dance.”

Burn.

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A Dance With A Boy (A Novel)

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In an underground salsa bar in Cairo, two dancers cross paths. Two dancers who are very different from each other find their lives intertwined to the same playlist. Will their passion for salsa dancing keep them together on and off the dance floor? Join Pamela and Tamer in a center stage romance as they dance under the spotlight.

A Dance With A Boy (Preface)

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If two weeks ago, someone told me that that boy, with short yellow hair, who started showing up at salsa nights at Bian Caffe approximately five months ago–yes, that same boy who always seems to be wearing a different variation of a red shirt every time I happen to run into him at any salsa social, and who always, always manages to sit in the same corner, the same corner that just happens to be exactly opposite my corner–and I will be dating, I swear I’ll be like, are you fucking kidding me? Because ha ha ha, that is so unfunnily offensive in so many levels:

1. I don’t know his name, and I don’t think he knows mine because–
2. We never ever danced, not once, and that leads us to–
3. He never ever asked me to dance. Not even once. And besides–
4. Even if we pretend that I know his name and he knows mine, and say that we’ve danced not just once, the idea of dating him or him dating me will be the last thing on my mind considering that–
5. I’ve just had a beautiful breakup with my beautiful Sicilian boyfriend who I’ve had a beautifully crafted four-month relationship with from the night I met him at a beautiful salsa party in Sydney.

So, seriously, ha ha ha. That’s the lamest attempt at a joke ever and the punch line is not even funny!

Until it is.

A Dance With A Boy (Chapter 1)

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Pamela

Baila Mi Hermano is one of those old-school salsa songs that I will always, always hear at any salsa party in Cairo. I could be dancing salsa at Bellini on a Tuesday night and that song will play. I could be sitting at Nile Maxim on Wednesday and that song will play. I could be standing next to the DJ booth at Bian Caffe on Thursday and I can put my money on it, that song will play.

I don’t especially hate that song, but I don’t especially like it either. I don’t have any idea what baila mi hermano means in English, and I certainly don’t have the time to google translate that now because, speaking of the devil, that song starts playing on cue and it is absolutely no good for drowning out creepy guy number four who starts sprinting towards my direction in an attempt to ask me to dance. So, I quickly maneuver to my table and dig my face to a slice of pizza.

“I’m eating. Maybe later.” I say between mouthfuls that my voice sounds chewy, wet, and stuffed all at the same time. The disgusted look on creepy guy number four’s face is priceless! He gives me an uncomfortable nod then turns around. I think he gets it now: later means never.

I have been dancing salsa long enough to know that there are only two types of guys at any salsa venue–there are the guys who I say yes to because they are there to dance, and then there are the guys who I say no to because they are there for something else. At the moment, there are seven guys who belong to my guys-who-I-say-no-to list and about 100 different ways on my how-to-say-no-to-guys-who-I-say-no-to list.

No, I’m having a break.
No. Maybe next dance.
No, I’m smoking a cigarette.
No. I’m too tired.
No, I told Alaa that I will dance with him on this song.
No, I told Mokbel that I will dance with him on this song.
No, I told [Whattheheck?! Insert any guy friend’s name here] that I will dance with him on this song.
No, I don’t like this song.
No, my dancing shoe broke!
No, I’m eating. (Even though there is absolutely no more slice of pizza left on my plate.)

No. No. No.

But saying no is not the only thing that I know and absolutely not the only thing that I do. I also know the seemingly new faces that pops at a salsa event every once in a while. I know because I am watching closely. I am watching closely not because I am creepy, but because I have been dancing and observing the same people at least two nights a week for the last three years that I can tell who is who just by looking at their shoes. So, if there is a new shoe on the dance floor and that new shoe is killing it, I’m hoping those shoes are from a guy who I can potentially say yes to. But how can I say yes to them if they never ask me to? And if they never grow the balls to ask me to dance, then the answer is always a ballsy no.

However, there are occasions when I do the asking because chivalry is apparently dead and forgotten. Nine out of ten times, I would get an easy yes. No sweat, except when–

“No, Pam, I can’t. I promised Radwa I will dance with her on the next song and this is the next song. Sorry, habebty, next one,” Amr says when I tried to pull his hand to the dance floor the moment Adele Set Fire to the Rain. All the guys who I like dancing with are already doing cross-bodys and underarm turns, and whatnots on the dance floor while I sit on my spot and watch as one of my favorite salsa remixes goes to waste untouched and unloved and unjustifiably danced. The one out of ten times that someone says no, and it has to be on an Adele song!

Despite this minor glitch, I do love going to salsa parties because it can be the only social thing that I do and it can also be the only non-social thing that I do. Usually, when I walk in at a salsa party, I always feel like I’m walking to a red carpet night minus the red carpet designer long gowns and paparazzi. I say hello to everyone and do the cheek-to-cheek a bazillion times before I can find my seat. Or everyone will come and pull me for a quick hug and howareyous before I can change into my dancing shoes. As much as salsa dancing is very social, it could also be very anti-social. Once DJ Migo starts blasting music in the background, that’s the cue for everyone to shut up and start pairing up on the wooden floor. So, for someone like me, who always fails at small talks, and who thinks silence is awkward, dancing salsa is the best bet. I don’t have to speak more than six words to people who aren’t my friends and who I have no interest in being friends with. I can just simply say a non-committal hello, or shrug, or nod, or wave, or smile, or not smile, and no one will think that I’m being rude. In fact, no one would suspect that I’m being rude. It’s like, yey! I get to be rude in your face and you don’t even know it! Awesome!

I’m not forced to be with anyone either, yet I am here with everyone at the same time. I can be an insider as much as I can be an outsider. I can introduce myself to new people, start chit-chatting with anyone at an arm’s length. I can connect and totally disconnect. I can give a fuck and not give a fuck. There will always be loud music playing which means I don’t have to deal with the silence until the party ends, and even then, the silence won’t be so bad because I’ll be huddled and snuggled, and cuddled to goodbye hugs and drowned to seeyounexttimes that it won’t be totally silent at all.

It’s just the best of both worlds for the social-non-social me, and that is probably why I keep coming back every Thursday night even though Bian Caffe is a two hour drive from home on a really bad day. And even though I don’t drive. And even though the only person who can possibly give me a ride home tonight has said no to dancing with me when Adele Set Fire to the Rain, and is still, in fact, dancing with Radwa even after Adele’s voice fades out and Yo No Se Manana fades in.

He better say yes to driving me home tonight!

Date a girl who dances salsa

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Date a girl who dances salsa. She is feisty, driven, confident. She dances her way through life in a way that she can dodge a bullet in the most graceful fashion. She is strong–physically, mentally, emotionally. She has arms and legs made solid from hardcore dancing. She’s been stepped on countless times with a 4-inch stiletto, she has fallen face flat on the floor, but that doesn’t stop her from dancing. She knows that like dancing, life continues on with or without music.

A girl who dances salsa is not afraid to make mistakes because she takes every wrong turn as a learning curve. She is a girl with a curious soul and an open mind. She will try bachata or kizomba, hiphop, even rumba. She will say yes to a new form of dance even when she has zero knowledge about it because a girl who dances salsa is a girl who is thirsty to learn.

A girl who dances salsa gives and takes. She knows her favorite moves yet she will allow you to lead her from time to time knowing that in every dance she can learn something new. She is a good follower but that doesn’t stop her from being a good leader. She will tell you right in your face that you shouldn’t have pushed hard, or that you are out of beat. When she does that, be impressed because not everyone can be in-your-face honest nowadays. Even when you are leading her in the dance, she will find ways to make the dance extra special by adding her own touch to it.

Date a girl who dances salsa because she is a girl who has high appreciation for the arts and artists. She loves dancing salsa for its elegant art. She recognizes a good salsa song the moment the percussion starts to beat.

A salsera is a chameleon. She has rhythm within her. She blends in and makes fast connection with everyone and that is the same reason why she stands out. The moment she steps in a salsa event, watch her spend a decent half an hour just giving everyone a welcome hug and kisses hello. Everyone loves her around because she has a heart as big as the dance floor. She has good vibes and positive energy that will lift you out of your sorry mood.

When a salsera asks you how you are doing or how your day went, trust me, she really wants to know. Otherwise, she would not bother asking when she can just pull you for a dance without saying a word. So, take the time to let her know what you have been up to, for all you know, she is taking this as a window to know more about you.

A girl who dances salsa goes where the wind blows. She knows when to stand up for the love of her life, yet she knows when it is time to let go. Years of dancing salsa taught her that some people just comes and goes, the way it always does in rueda de casino. A salsera knows when to take a deep and rise from that deep. And believe me, she will rise to any deep much stronger than the fall.

It is easy to date a girl who dances salsa. Invite her for an 8:00pm dinner and she will be there right on time if not earlier. She won’t make you wait an hour or two because she knows how frustrating it is when a salsa event starts late. She values time. Every minute to a dance means a lot to her, so if you do ask her out on a date, be on time and see how much she will like you more for valuing her time’s worth.

A girl who dances salsa does not crack under pressure. She is in control and can fully take care of herself. She is composed and calm and she never loses herself. Dancing salsa taught her that feeling down doesn’t last too long. Sometimes, all it takes is a good salsa event to get her happy back.

A salsera (no matter how long she’s been dancing for, no matter how complex her knowledge is about the dance) keeps her feet grounded. She appreciates talent when she sees it. She has danced a bazillion times before but that does not get in her head. She is humbled by the fact that there is still so much to learn outside the dance floor. She is moved by the courage of beginners and takes pleasure in seeing them evolve and grow within the salsa scene. At the same time, she has high regards for dancers who have turned the soles of their shoes paper-thin from all those years of dancing.

A girl who dances salsa takes the time to know people. She knows that a salsa party is limited to dancing which is why she will ask you out for coffee where the environment is more chat-friendly. Better yet, if you meet a girl who dances salsa, ask her out for coffee or shisha. She will feel giddy inside and out knowing that you will go an extra length to spend time with her not only at a salsa party where meeting is just out of convenience.

It is easy to recognize a salsera. She is that girl in the gym who is listening to Dile El Amor in full blast while lifting three-kilo weights. She is that girl sitting at a corner with a huge bottle of mineral water because she knows she has to be hydrated if she plans on dancing for long. She is that girl with a spare bag where her dancing shoes are. A salsera doesn’t dance in knee-high boots, or 5 inch heels, or a Converse sneakers. She knows that a good pair of dancing shoes is essential to a good dance and a good party. Yes, she takes salsa seriously, because that is what a salsera does with everything she is passionate about.

When you meet a girl who dances salsa, ask her where the next salsa party is, if you’re lucky, she might even invite you to come. When she does, go. It means she wants you to have a slice of her life. Nothing connects people better than dancing. You feel the passion, the intensity, the chemistry, all these in a dance. You feel feelings. You feel when it’s right, and you can tell when it’s not.

A girl who dances salsa knows that at any second, anything can happen and change everything, and she will always be prepared for it. Nothing takes her by surprise. You can spin her around a dozen times, even more, but she will not get off balance. You can let her go for a freestyle and she will be more than happy to show you what she’s got. She knows that her favorite song will always come to an end and she will take it as a beginning to another dance, another song.

Date a girl who dances salsa because she can feel. She is an emotional creature and she is proud of it. One dance can express so much about a salsera. It exposes her being, her passion, her emotions. It’s easy to tell when she’s happy or sad–her facial expressions, hand gestures, and the way she sways her hips say it all.

Pain and vulnerability is something she takes pride in. These are the two things that makes her human. It satisfies her knowing that she is susceptible to hurt, and yet that won’t stop her from taking the leap. She knows that just like in a dance where she gets elbowed, and squeezed, and criticized and judged, life offers more and even harder challenges.

When a salsera says that she loves you, have no doubts because it is true. She knows that love can take away all her decision-making abilities but she will take the risk, knowing that most of the beautiful dances were never expected.

A girl who dances salsa understands that you are not superman, she knows that you can make mistakes and that you don’t know everything because she is a girl who sings and hums to Latin songs even when she doesn’t know or understand the words. She will accept your past and take you for your present, while looking forward more dances with you tomorrow. She is a girl who knows how to compromise. She knows that a relationship has the same theory as a partner dance.

A salsera is a girl who knows very well that love is and should be built in trust. You will see her dance with all the men at a salsa party but you have to know that there is nothing more she can ever want than to dance with you. In fact, she cannot even wait for the next bachata song to start so she could throw her arms around you already. You have to know that a girl who dances salsa will dance with everyone else but it is and will always be different when she dances with you.

A salsera is a girl who can make you feel different emotions in a span of thirty minutes–carefree in merengue, fun in chacha, sophisticated in salsa, passionate in bachata. That’s how she is, always enthused by the different flavors and tastes of life. She knows very well that some flavors she won’t like, some tastes she will detest but she will try it all with her head held high.

She understands that you can’t be with her 24/7 and that it is perfectly fine. Just like most salsa events that are scheduled, she knows you’ve got your own schedules too. She will give you time to be with your friends because she knows she needs time to spend with her girlfriends from salsa too.

A girl who dances salsa is never shallow. She is everything but that. So don’t worry, she is not quick to judge. First impressions do not impress her. No, it doesn’t work like that for our salsera because dancing has taught her that you cannot grasp someone’s personality or character even after months of dancing with them. She knows that salsa is a social venue where you meet people, but she is smart enough to know that real friendships are made outside the dancing floor.

You can tell that a girl dances salsa by that fact that she can’t stop talking about how much she would love to go to Cuba! If you got all the aces in your hand, she might even ask you if you’d like to go with her. If she does, do not hesitate. She wants you to be there at the happiest moment of her life.

When a girl who dances salsa falls in love, you will be her favorite dancer, you will be the most handsome Latino in her eyes even when you don’t dance salsa at all, even when you have two left feet.

A salsera will not push you to do what you don’t want to do because she knows how annoying it is to be dancing with someone who pushes his style and moves on her. At the same time, she knows that every dancer is their own person. She values identity, and independence, and differences more than anything else. You may not be her cup of tea but she will like you for all that you are because individuality is the very thing that attracted her to salsa in the first place. She will love you all the more for having your own sense of self, because you know what your strengths are and you can recognize your weak points when they’re shown.

Date a girl who dances salsa because when you are with her, it feels as though you are listening to an old song for the very first time. Love her because even when she’s danced with 138 different men, she is with you for the reason that she saw something in you that she hasn’t seen in any of those men. In a way, that should already make you feel good about yourself!

A girl who dances salsa is a girl who loves herself. She knows her worth, she knows what she deserves. She will not change for anyone. She will not allow anyone define who she is. She defines herself. You either love her for her totality or you don’t take anything at all. If you find that she is demanding, it is only because she will not let anyone, even the love of her life short-change her or take her for granted. She knows her rights and she won’t let anyone treat her any less. Rest assured, if a salsera loves you back, she will never short-change you, or treat you any less, or take you for granted because she knows your worth, she knows what you deserve.

Date a girl who dances salsa because she is the kind of girl who is beautiful inside and out. She knows she doesn’t have to prove herself–not to you, not to anyone–because she is her own woman. She is beautiful that way. There is something about her that remains attractive even when she has gone sweaty after three hours of dancing. Maybe it is the fact that unlike other girls who always try to look their best to impress, a salsera knows that beauty is never about make up or clothes. It is what is inside you. She is not superficial. She acknowledges beauty when she sees it but she knows how easily it can fade away.

A salsera is a girl who loves women. Nothing can be sexier than seeing a salsera admire another salsera. She treats every girl as an ally not an enemy. She believes in feminism and camaraderie. She knows that jealousy and intrigue and rumors and gossips exist only for the fascination of junior high girls. She sees beauty in everyone, no matter the size, no matter the shape, no matter the age or color. She knows that she doesn’t have to have a body of a latina to dance very well. She is comfortable in her own skin that she radiates no matter the beat, no matter the song.

A girl who dances salsa knows that life is not a fairytale. She has realistic goals, realistic dreams. She knows she can’t get or have everything she wants and she will not be disappointed. What do you think she does when not one of her favorite songs is played in a salsa event? You think she pouts her lips and throws a silly tantrum? No! She makes do of what she has. She is more than happy to dance in a new song. Sure, it might not be her favorite song, but that won’t stop her from dancing.

It is very easy to date a salsera. She doesn’t want a Prada bag or an expensive perfume. She knows that there is no way her dancing shoes and one liter water bottles will fit in a clutch bag. She knows that the scent of a perfume wears out just after a few dances. But give her your own mix of salsa music, or better yet, make a mix of her favorite Latin songs and see that look on her face that is priceless. She will hold the CD in her hands as though it is the world’s most expensive treasure. She will play it nonstop the moment she wakes up in the morning. That will continue throughout the day until she dozes off to sleep. And in between tracks, she will wish you are there listening with her if not dancing with her. Bravo, you just gave her the perfect gift she’s always wanted.

If you’re feeling a little bit extra cheesy, you don’t have to be flashy. Do it the old-school way. That Sneakers chocolate bar? It works like a charm everytime! It’s a no-brainer, she needs as much energy she can get for an all night of dancing. She will thank you for being thoughtful.

She won’t mind you dancing with other girls because she knows she can trust you. She doesn’t get jealous and there is no feeling of insecurity because she knows very well and will never forget what she means to you.

Is a girl who dances salsa worth it? Absolutely, in more ways than one! So when you find her, keep her. Don’t lose her with your insecurities or worse, out of jealousy, for when she says that she loves you, she means every word. After all, this is a girl who has met so many people at various salsa parties before. If she has chosen you, never let her go because you are more than lucky for the fact that out of all the men she has met and danced with, she fell in love with you. Thank the gods she didn’t choose that one awesome Cuban dancer, or that expat from Spain, or that sexy bachata instructor.

She must have seen something in you that makes her want to dance her way through life with no one else but you. And if you and her will have problems along the way, her judgement will not be clouded by what other people say. She loves you for who you are, not for who you can be, not for her idea of who you are. She loves you because you are you, right here, right now. She doesn’t need anyone to tell her you are not good enough, or that she deserves someone better. If you’ve been reading very intently, I think I have already stressed many times how a girl who dances salsa knows her worth and what she deserves. If she’s with you, she’s with you for a reason. You are someone worthy to dance with even when the music has stopped.

Date a girl who dances salsa. Make her feel that she is the best girl in the world. Let her know that she is safe, that you will catch her should she fall. Make her believe that no matter who she is dancing with or who you are dancing with, you will always be each other’s first and last dance.

Find a girl who dances salsa, because when you do, you’ll start living as though life is a dance floor. And with a salsera’s hand intertwined with yours, there is never a wrong turn. Only music in the background that has gotten much sweeter. And just in case you fall in love with a salsera, and you’re lucky enough that she falls in love with you too, congratulations! You just found yourself an epic partner on and off the dance floor!